Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Renaissance!

With the Ren Faire season upon us, I thought I'd share with you some Ren no-no's.  If you're going to a Ren Faire and you want to dress for it -- splurge! -- buy a costume, a nice one.  Don't knit one - especially none of these!

There is an AWFUL LOT of knitted chain mail out there.  And I don't think it will stop any kind of sword I can think of.
Not sure if this is actually meant to be chain mail or if it's just a homeless guy trying to stay warm.


Don't drag your kids into your warped Ren Faire business.  Just let the kid go in his shorts and tank top, have a giant turkey leg and some lemonade, and you do the hot costumes.


And the wooden sword and shield just make it that much more authentic!


You know this guy in on eharmony.com looking for his Ren Princess

I'm sorry -- is that tape on your sword?  Really?


This is just a bullying in the making


Knitted gray vest? check!  Tin foil mask?  check!  Plastic sword?  check!  Fake shield?  check!  Athletic shorts?  check!


Gotta say - this guy looks authentic -- like he hasn't showered in a month.  And don't poke him in the belly with that sword!  His mom ran out of yarn so his "chain mail" isn't quite long enough.

This guy is serious about his Ren Faire!  Do NOT mess with him or he will stab you with his fake sword!


Really?  LOL  Just go to the toy store and get a plastic one, OK?

Not sure if this is for Ren Faire or for Riverdance!


Sorry - the crazy dred locks are sold separately.





18 comments:

  1. Is it weird that I kind of like the dread locks?

    It's great to see you back at it! :)

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  2. Wow! You ARE a bitch! Not everyone has the means to buy a fancy chainmaille tunic for +300$. Especially as you need MUCH MORE than just the frakkin' chainmaille for the authentic look. Not everyone CAN splurge and, frankly, the ones that do are obsessedd, which is not a good thing at all. Some of these look really good. The purpose is clearly not to defend oneself in battle but to HAVE FUN. If you cannot grasp that, stay away from Ren Faires, where people are aiming to have fun, and start working on a time machine now, that way you will be spared the trouble of having to see how "awfully" creative some people can be, and how much fun they can have. I hope you have fun in a Medieval ditch.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. I was actually looking up how to knit chainmail for my vikings warrior next year and this bitch pops up on here. I think from a far knitted chainmail looks authentic it's not like we are actually going into battle it's a fucking costume stfu

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  3. LOL @ "Anonymous". While I'm working on that time machine, maybe you could work on that sense of humor!

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    Replies
    1. It's one thing to have a sense of humor another to be a complete bitch. Makin fun of people for hard work on costumes or anything is absolutely mean there is no "sense of humor" in it at all. So maybe you should reevaluate your life put a little more positivity in it and come back again with less of an attitude. Have a splendid day.

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  4. Hi!
    I'm looking for somebody who could create several chainmail costume (pants + vest) like these one.
    http://www.hydroponicsonline.com/store/img-hydroponics/stargate-jaffa-armor-propworx_130550322995.jpg
    An idea?
    My mail address: gui_batteur@yahoo.fr
    Thank you

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  5. The guy with the blue shield with the sword slung over his shoulder is wearing real chainmaille. His sword is real too.

    I think above all else you should be ashamed of yourself. Half the people you are making fun of here are children. Have you no decency?

    Yeah, you said to another person this was for humor. But I have seen your type of humor before. Displayed on playgrounds by bullies right before they bloody the smaller kid's nose.

    But maybe your right, maybe it really is funny to humiliate others to make yourself seem superior. Let's try it out. You have mastered the art of distracting people from your fat face with a bad haircut, glasses that were ridiculous even when they were in style for two months, and earrings big enough to bludgeon an elephant with. Nope. Not funny either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The guy with the blue shield was listed as knitted chain mail on the picture. I don't make this stuff up. I'm about as far from a bully as it gets, so chill out. And, not that it matters, but my pic was from a vampire costume night. I don't wear those glasses regularly. I do, however, wear my hair like that every day and big earrings on occasion. I notice your comment was "anonymous", by the way. Afraid of some sarcastic humiliation aimed at you? I'm sorry you lost your sense of humor somewhere. Maybe you'll find it some day.

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    2. Oh good, you don't dress like that all the time. Well, neither do the people in those pictures. You say your aren't a bully, but you sure act like one, honestly... kids? And I have a great sense of humor... it just doesn't depend on belittling other people. See, that is your mistake. You think humiliation is funny. That's what makes you a bully.

      (By the way, you sure didn't think it was funny when it was aimed at you... hypocrite.)

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    3. "By the way, you sure didn't think it was funny when it was aimed at you"

      Good point, Anon!

      Delete
  6. The gentleman in blue is wearing actual chainmail. The process to make it by hand is actually called knitting these days. And a suit like the one he is wearing would be upwards of $300, and is both quite impressive to look at & will do a great deal in terms of protection should he choose to fight in it.

    A link to an article about how to knit actual chainmail: http://makeprojects.com/Project/Basic-Chainmail/723/1#.UGOtmERQB_k

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    Replies
    1. Obviously the author of this article doesnt have the sense of kitsch it requires to be a Rennie...or a knitter Rennie at that. Obviously not enough creativity to create any of those nice expensive costumes they talk about. Sweetie, we LUXURIATE in our 'wrongness', we go to Faire to escape mentalities like yours and we welcome others (especially children) to share the fantasy, no matter their costume budget. Oh, and if you feel like making fun of those dreadlocks? Dont be surprised if you get kicked out of one of those 'nice costume' stores- all the salesgirls wear dreads and/or shaved heads. Get used to it.

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  7. Goddamn you're a fucking bitch.

    ReplyDelete
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  9. I stumbled on this while surfing Renaissance knitting. Eesh. Sorry I clicked the link. Good grief.

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  10. I stumbled on this while surfing Renaissance knitting. Eesh. Sorry I clicked the link. Good grief.

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  11. I actually teared up reading this as I thought how the people in these photos would feel reading as they read how their hard, amazing, and fun work was ridiculed. The author is a just a school-yard bully, with no ability to imagine how their words affect others.

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  12. Some of these look awesome. This post is too mean-spirited.

    ReplyDelete