Thursday, March 31, 2011

Sock Monkeys from HELL!

I admit, sock monkeys have always creeped me out, ever since I was a child.  I don't know why.  I was never attacked by one, never even owned one.....but there has always been something about them that I found unnerving.  These, however, just take the cake.

Let's start with cute ones ---

Cute, I guess.  Don't quite get the pom poms on top - and do sock monkeys have ears that big?

Yeah, he's cute....ok.  But an entire sock monkey outfit?  And those ears -- again -- do they normally have ears like that?

I'm beginning to realize it's the giant red mouths that bother me the most.  I could never drink coffee with this on the cup.

Dude, you can say no to your wife.  Really, you can.  She may cut you off for awhile, but it will be worth it.  No more pictures like THIS of you on the internet will be worth it.

First of all, let me say how utterly disturbing it is to me that there is a giant porcelain sock money somewhere.  Second, sock monkeys on your boobs?  (and that flowered blouse of your grandma's must be returned immediately)

How do you make a sock money even creepier?  Make it a spider!

Or make it a mutant sock monkey.

Or give it extra arms and breasts.  There are hindus all over the world who are offended right now.

OMG! The stuff nightmares are made of.

Holy crap!  I don't want to know --- I really don't, and I don't think anyone else does either.

Not in MY house, you don't!  

And now...the couture side of the sock monkey phenomenon. Is it a phenomenon?  To me it is!?  And is it couture?  That's for you to decide, as beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder when it comes to these "fashions"...... and I use that word VERY loosely...

Oh, man.... I was gonna wear that to the prom!

More monkey boobs!  WTH?

And another view - note the big red mouth on her butt.  I can do nothing but roll my eyes.

Umbrella?  Cute, I guess.  Bikini?  It just gets a "WTF?" in a big way.

I am speechless

YIIIIKKKEESSS!!  I would be running from that room screaming....literally.

It does not get any more frightening.


  1. I didn't know you had a sock monkey fear Stef! :) These are so funny. I have to say I've never thought of a sock monkey as sexy. At all.

  2. I think I agree. Sock monkeys are overdone and creepy!

  3. O.M.G... And to think, I used to thing sock monkeys were CUTE!

    (Here from the Ravelry FB page :-) )

  4. I just choked on my water (laughing/snorting) while reading this.. lovely post :D

  5. thanks for this hilarious post. Never Fear, Monkeys will always be funny and cute. Just ask David Letterman. He uses Monkeys regularly on his Top 10 List. I always laugh my head off when he does.